Presentable Freedom
by Ms. S. Phinx
Summary: So alone, yet not? Small room, getting smaller? Hope, is it possible? May we all be doomed to a happy life. Rated for profanities.
1. Day 1

lowercase: salvadore

 _Italic: Charlotte_

UPPERCASE: DOCTOR MONEY

Each Word Capitalized/underline: Mr. Smiley

 **Bold: Protagonist**

* * *

 **I fucking hate this. I'm stuck in this goddam fucking room and I hate it. I wish I was dead! The window isn't big enough for me to get through to hurl myself out of. FUCK! God. One day I was dragged here by people I didn't know, given a shot that still is throbbing, (it fucking hurts like hell!) and I'd rather be dead than alive! Fuck! Just fucking kill me now! I'm in prison, for reasons I don't know, I don't understand, and I don't give a flying fuck about! I know whatever they're accusing me of I'm innocent. But apparently that didn't stop them, so why the fuck should it stop me? God I'm not making any sense anymore. What was in that shot? I'm just stomping around the room. Sitting on the bed, getting up again. Just walking around aggressively, letting my mind run wild with painful and angry and depressed thoughts. I fucking hate this, I hate myself, I want to die. I can't see anything sharp around here, there aren't any blankets to hang myself from. Maybe I could smother myself with the pillow? Bang my head hard enough against the wall? There is so little room in this fucking cell. I… I don't even have the energy for walking anymore. I sit on the bed. I … I'm crying now. God damn. I wipe furiously at my eyes. I… I can't! I just… I need to die. I sigh and lay in bed trying to find ways to occupy my mind. Death is the only thing that seems to come to it.**

 **. . .**

 **Noon… a letter is slipped under my door. I sit up and stare at it. I'm in prison. Who the fuck is sending me letters? I get up from the bed and walk over to it. I look at it a little bit more on the ground before I pick it up. I vaguely recognize the hand writing. Salvadore.**

my dear friend, i hope this letter finds you well. how is prison life going for you? **How the fuck do you think it's going bitch!?** i know it must be hard, especially in times like these. **Times like these? Fuck you.** as for me, i will soon start another of my journeys into the unknown. wish me luck. –Salvadore the traveller.

 **Salva-fucking-dore the fucking traveler. Learn to spell right damn it. Bastard was a childhood friend of mine. A fucking traveler indeed. If I didn't know him any better I would say he was mocking me. Bragging about how he's not in a goddam cell. Yeah, well, good fucking luck.**

 **I groan and lay back down on the blanket-less bed.**

 **Another letter arrives a little later.**

friend, i hope you aren't feeling too lonely in that dark cell. just in case. i have put a little bug friend for you in the envelope alongside this letter. –Salvadore

 **The goddam spider freaked me the fuck out! Didn't even get to read the letter before he came out. Jesus!**

 **Shit. I should just step on the little guy and end his misery now. He shall hence forth be know has Crappy McFuck Face.**

 **Well fuck. Thanks a lot Salvadore. This little ass spider is really going to brighten my day. Best friend I've ever had. Go fuck yourself.**

 **I look down at it. Maybe it's poisonous? If I get it to bite me maybe I'll die by infection?**

 **…**

 **Screw it. I sit on my bed again and watch it scurry around. I wait for it to just crawl out the slot that the letters come though and abandon me like everyone else.**

 **I don't get any more letters till a long while later.**

GOOD DAY. WE ARE HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED BY ME, DOCTOR MONEY, TO JOIN AN EXCLUSIVE PROGRAM FOR INMATES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

 **Oh really? Oh I'm so excited? Sarcasm much fuckers?**

WE HAVE NOTICED THAT DUE TO THE RECENT OUTBREAK OF A TERRIBLE VIRUS THE POPULATION OF OUR BEAUTIFUL **fucking beautiful!** NATION HAS STARTED DWINDLING. THIS IS UNFORTUNATE. BUT THERE IS STILL HOPE: YOU.

 **Me? The fuck are you talking about you ass?**

 **I sit on my bed as I inspect the letter.**

 **Oh shit! Are you the little bitch that shoved me in this cell? And wait… virus? Wait-wait-wait back the fuck up, terrible virus? People are…? People are dying of some freaking virus? Jesus, is that what I'm missing? Good god.**

 **I suddenly become very anxious and my breath becomes erratic.**

RECENT STUDIES SHOW THAT 98% OF OUR GREAT NATION'S POPULATION IS ALREADY INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS. **Ninety... I gulp. Ninety eight percent… oh fuck.** INCIDENTALLY, MANY OF THE REMAINING 2% ARE PRISON INMATES LIKE YOU. WE HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE TO BE VIGILANT AND REMAIN HEALTHY.

 **Like me? Fuck, what is even that supposed to mean? Tears are coming again, oh god, just kill me now! How the fuck do you expect me to remain vigilant and healthy, by the way? I'm in a goddam prison cell! I'm trembling, oh god, I'm trembling. Fuck am I… really going to die like this? Alone in a cell? Suffering from god knows what. Wasn't I just begging for death a little while ago? Why am I so terrified? Shit.**

IN ORDER TO FIGHT DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN THE DIRE SITUATION YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF IN, YOU WILL BE ASSIGNED YOUR OWN PERSONAL HAPPY-BUDDYtm. ENJOY!

 **Oh great. Fucking marvelous. This is gonna be good.**

 **I receive a letter from the asshat known as my happy buddy within seconds of the last letter Dr. Money sent me.**

Hello Hello Hello! I Am You Own Personal Happy Buddytm! I Have A Present For You! FIVE CONFETTI POPPERS! HAVE FUN!

 **One accidentally goes off in my hands. Well fuck. There went one. Who does this bastard think he is? Jesus. Leave me alone.**

Hello My Buddy Friend Buddy! Did You Enjoy The Confetti? If So, I Have Another Present For You!

 **No please.**

It's A Doctor Money Portable Entertainment Machine! Game Included! Have Lots Of Fun :-)

 **The game came with the letter. I open it and one game is available. I find myself indulging.**

 **This is lame. The game, serpent… fuck there's no point in this! Jesus.**

 **I play the goddam game until I hear from Sal again.**

my dear friend, i have started my journey in the far east, with no clear goal in mind. on the road, i met a nice woman who gave me directions to the nearest lake. you know how much i like swimming.

 **Yeah, didn't I save your ass from drowning when we were kids? Screw it, you know what? Just keep bragging. I don't give a fuck!**

friend, this lake is beautiful. it is so peaceful and quiet here. have you ever been so alone that you-you cannot convince yourself of the fact that other people exist anymore? –Salvadore

 **…**

 **…**

 **…**

 **WELL FUCK YOU, SALVADORE!**

friend, i have a present for you. it's a painting that always reminds me of the spirit of travel. i hope it will liven up your cell a little bit. –Sal

 **I place the picture on the gray wall**

 **I step back and look to see the green, yellow, and blue canvas.**

 **I, dude did you paint this? Fuck, just stop. What are you even trying to do? Sal, I'm in prison, I rather be dead. And you really aren't helping matters.**

 **Another letter? I sigh. Sal…**

Hey Buddy! **Fuck! this guy isn't helping either!** How Are You Doing? If You're Feeling Down Maybe A Song Will Help! Lalala Happy Lala Glad To Lalala Be Alive Lala!

 **…**

 **You know what? I pity you.**

Hahahahahaha That Was Fun Wasn't It? I Hope You Keep A Song In Your Heart Always. For You Are Smart And Kind And Important.

 **You don't fucking know me.**

 **Another letter, wow. Okay now I am really pissed. God damn it leave me alone!**

GOOD DAY MR. SMILEY. WE HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE NOT MET YOUR HAPPINESS QUOTA YET. REMEMBER: YOU WILL ONLY GET TO SEE YOUR DAUGHTERS AGAIN IF YOU MANAGE TO LOWER THE SUICIDE RATES IN PRISON.

 **…**

 **…**

 **…**

 **…** **I, I**

 **Oh god… I didn't know. Fuck, dude I, I'm so sorry. More tears? Really? Fucking really? OH** ** _Jesus_** **! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll be happy, just. Oh my god, don't hurt his daugthers! See I'm happy! Happy!**

 **I quickly take out my game thingy and start playing, trying not to let anymore tears fall.**

DEAR _, WE MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY SENT YOU A LETTER ADDRESSED TO A CERTAIN MR. SMILEY. WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS MISTAKE HAS BEEN RECTIFIED AND THAT YOUR HAPPY BUDDY REALLY DOES LIKE YOU AND IS YOUR BEST FRIEND PURELY BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FRIENDLY.

 **Fuck that noise! You let his goddam daughters go! Why the fuck does he have to keep me happy anyhow? Screw that! Fuck you!**

 **Another letter? Mr. Smiley? God, I am so sorry.**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA How Are You Doing?

 ** _What_ am I doing is more the question. And I should be asking you that.**

I'm Feeling Sooooooo Great! **You, you don't mean that.** You Are My Bestest Friendliest Happy Friend In The Whole Wide World!

 **Please stop! You don't need to lie to me. Please, I know about your daughters, just stop you don't have to push yourself into this act! I'll be happy! If it means you get your daughters back, I'll, I'll hang on. I just, I don't want you do lie to me like this, please. You shouldn't force yourself to do this but… god, I'm so sorry.**

 **I step back from the door as I read the letter. I do my best not to crush the little spider, who for some odd reason hasn't gotten out of the room yet.**

 **I play my game on my bed until I jump at the noise of another letter being slid under the door.**

friend, if my calculations are correct, then this letter will arrive at your cell right around bedtime. i hope those prison beds are comfortable… goodnight friend, -Salvadore

 **They're not Sal… I don't even have a blanket… no, you know what Sal? I'm sorry for being that pissy little brat I was at the beginning. I know you didn't hear me and I know that Mr. Smiley can't either, but for his sake Sal…? I'm going to start being happy.**

 **I peer down at the little spider Salvadore got me from my bed. He is still here, with me. In this tiny little cell. He can leave any time he wants. But he doesn't. Should I think that he's choosing to stay with me? Should I even hope anything(one) would choose to stay with me? I sigh and reach my hand down. I feel the little legs crawl up onto my arm and I resist the urge to swat it away. I look at the little bug through squinted eyes and dim light. Crappy McFuck Face… I'm sorry little buddy. I really am. Maybe I'll give you a proper name it tomorrow?**


	2. Day 2

Day 2

 **Oh god my back hurts like hell! Fuck! I open my eyes to stare at the dark gray ceiling. Oh shit, right, I'm in prison. The first day comes back to me in a rush. Sal! Mr. Smiley! Happy… right, have to be happy, so Mr. Smiley can see his daughters. No thoughts of suicide anymore.**

 **…**

 **The bug! Fuck! I sit up so fast I become light headed. God I hope I didn't crush him in my sleep! I look around on the bed, on my body, then I look down at the floor and I see him scurrying around like he was yesterday. Oh thank god.**

 **Alright, I guess I said I might name you better today… Um… give me a moment?**

 **I look up to see a letter has already appeared under my door. Well shit, it's a little early don't you think?**

 **... Mr. Smiley?**

Rise And Shine Sleepyhead! I Hope You Had A Goodnight's Sleep I Sure Did!Hooray!

 **No my back hurts— I mean, yes, wonderful sleep (what the fuck and I doing?)**

To Celebrate The Occasion Of You Getting Up, I Have Sent You A Second Game For Your Portable Entertainment Product!

 **Yes, certainly happy to be alive… and in a prison cell. Fuck this is going to be hard. I sit on my bed and open up the PEP. Pep… peppy pep prep, preppy pep prep. Fuck this. The new game is called… Fear. Of. Fire? O-K… Shit.**

 **I start playing the game and losing track of time until another letter comes. Goddam is this really all my days are going to be consisting of?**

friend, i have decided to head north, which is as you know, my favorite cardinal direction to head. **Heh, that's fucking funny Sal. Heh, I can almost picture you writing these damn things.** on the way, i passed by a very interesting river. a sign next to it said that the water changes the direction it is flowing in around this time of year.

 **Now how the fuck does that work Sal?**

 **I can't believe it but I feel a small lopsided smile on my face. What the hell? I even let out a soft chuckle thinking about it. God am I going crazy? Well maybe this will keep Mr. Smiley happy… the smile falls.**

fascinating, wouldn't you say friend? i must stay here and witness the change occurring, my curiosity is just too tremendous to resist the temptation. **Dude, I don't give a fuck what you do. I mean… I hope you have fun… and I mean it. And surprisingly I do.** as much i enjoy vast landscapes and new locations to explore, sometimes in life one must appreciate the little things. –Sal

 **…** **Wow Sal. You are really making me wish I was there with you aren't you. Maybe… some day?**

 **Another letter is slipped under the door.**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I Have Another Present For You! It's A Poster To Remind You To Always Keep A Smile On Your Face!

 **Oh um… thanks Mr. Smiley. I'm trying for your sa-a-A-A-AHHHHHHH!**

 **I turn after finishing the letter only to see the most goddam creepy ass painting of a smiley face I've ever seen! I let out a scream and fall back onto my bed. I can't take my eyes off the damn thing. Oh my god! The little splatter of red paint on the corner… was that really paint? Oh… dear Jesus….**

 **I now feel beyond uncomfortable in this little cell. By god Mr. Smiley you aren't helping! And trust me I'm trying!**

 **Uh, I don't want to look away from the thing. I'm afraid it might eat me if I look away.**

 **Another letter slides in. I don't recognize this envelope.**

 _Good day! I don't think you know me, but from what I've heard, it seems that you and I are the last people in this town who are still not infected with the virus._

 **Wait! Right! There's a virus outside, people are dying. There's someone else out there besides Salvadore, Mr. Smiley and the fucktard Dr. Money? You're not infected?... Who are you?**

 **Another letter.**

 _I am the owner of a pastry shop not far from where your cell is. But as I don't want to get infected. I cannot sell my pastries to anyone anymore. Except you._ **Me?** _I would really appreciate it if you could come visit me sometime, and maybe have a cup of tea._

 **Heh, Sweetheart I wish I could, but you said it yourself I'm in a cell. A damn awful one at that!**

 **I look around and catch the eye of the smiling painting and shiver. Uh, hey, maybe you can come visit me? Tea does sound nice.**

 _By the way, my name is Charlotte. Nice to meet you._

 **Charlotte… I smile softly yet widely. Charlotte, well by sweet baby Jesus it is nice to meet you too!**

 **I can't help but giggle. Maybe I've made another friend? God I hoped so. Mr. Creepy Ass Smiley Face wasn't doing me any favors.**

 **Later another letter.**

my dearest companion, the river's change in direction was quite interesting to see. **Wish I really was your companion Sal!** this is exactly what i love about my travels: you always get to see new and amazing things. –Salvadore

 **Seriously man, wish I'd been there with ya!**

 **Another letter… from Charlotte oh my god! A smile came to my face again.**

 _I'm very sorry if I came off as too eager in my last letters to you._ **No, no sweetheart, you're fine!** _Fact is, I haven't really had much contact with people anymore lately._ **No kidding with this virus going on!** _Please forgive me if I made you feel uncomfortable. –Charlotte._

 **You're, you're fine. You didn't frighten me off… you can't, really… you can't-you can't hear me. Can you? Shit, I can't get in contact with you! Or Salvadore! Or Mr. Smiley for Christ sake! Damn it!**

 **I brewed over that new revelation until another letter slipped through the door.**

Hello Hello Hello! I Hope You're Enjoying Your 2 Games. They Were Expensive You Know. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **Oh shit, I'd forgotten about those things! I quickly pulled out the game thing and began to play.**

HAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Please Don't Be Sad

 **Jesus dude, calm down. I… I mean… Sorry, right, daughters, shit… I'm happy, I'm so very happy. Not sad a bit!**

I Know It Must Be Hard All Alone In A Prison Cell But You Must Remain Happy!

 **…**

Please

 **Oh god _damn_ it! I will! I promise. I _will_.**

 **I sigh. Geez. This poor dude. I should feel so lucky! I sigh again. I look down and see the little spider dude. I smile. Alright man, time to give you that proper name I promised. I reach down and the spider crawls onto me.**

 **Sam?**

 **Carl?**

 **Tim?**

 **Muskrat?**

 **The fuck?**

 **Um. Geez this is hard. Little Dude?**

 **Mason?**

 **How about less human names? It's a fucking spider for Christ sake.**

 **Marvin?**

 **Goddamit!**

 **I nearly have a heart attack when another letter slides through.**

IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT YOUR HAPPY BUDDY HAS SHOWN SIGNS OF NOT BEHAVING IN AN EXCITED AND HAPPY MANNER. **W-what? No!** IF YOU WISH TO HAVE YOUR HAPPY BUDDY REPLACED PLEASE JUST SEND US A LETTER AND WE WILL GET RID OF HIM.

 **No! NONONNONONONO! There is no need to do that! Fuck, he's fine! Seriously please no!**

 **Another letter!**

Hello HAHAHA Hello I Heard That Some People Are Reporting Their Happy Buddies To Doctor Money HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 **Not me! Never me dude! You're, you're awesome.**

You Know What Happens To Them Right? Do You? You Wouldn't Do That To Me Would You? HAHA

 **I don't fucking know what they do to them but whatever the fuck it is I certainly do** ** _not_** **want it to happen to you! No!**

 **Oh, I'm panicking!**

I'm Sorry I Havent Gotten You Another Game Yet I Just Don't Have The Money For It At The Moment

 **No that's okay! Seriously! It's fine, you don't have to spend one more cent on me! Please don't!**

I'm So Sorry

 **No.**

So Very Sorry

 **No! No no no no no! Don't hurt him! Don't take him away! Fuck, he's a good happy buddy, good good good! Please no no no! Fuck leave him alone!**

 **Nobody can… nobody can fucking hear me can they? Fuck!**

 **Tears start coming again. I'm ranting around my room stomping on the ground. The spider scurrying around my feet narrowly avoiding them. Goddamn it I'm not stopping it this time. I begin to sob. Did I just lose my happy buddy? I fall onto my bed and cry. God I hope not!**

 **A swoosh on the ground by the door.**

 **ANOTHER GODDAM LETTER!**

 **FUCK! SALVADORE!?**

friend, is your bug friend keeping you company? have you given him a name? **Oh shit, right I have to name him! Margo! Jack! Mark! Damn it!** you should. do you remember how we used to sit by the fireside, carving chess pieces out of wood without a care in the world? **I break into uncontrollable laughter at that. Remembering for a moment how crazy I must sound. Oh my god, I distinctly remember that I was far better at it than you my friend. God _damn_! I can't wipe the smile off my face!** that was a long time ago.

 **The smile falls so fast I hear it shatter. Well, damn Sal. That… was that really necessary? Damnit. I, I really hate thinking about that now. It, it really was a long time ago.**

my wood carving skills have gotten significantly worse, **oh really Sal? Heh, didn't know that was possible. I try to regain my shattered smile.** but i still tried to make you something to make you feel less lonely. it's the leg of a table im making for you! **A what? Oh freaking… what?** i know that might not be the most extravagant project, but i hope you like it anyways. –Salvadore

 **I, I…**

 **I look at the long, square, wood piece, the first of supposedly, of four wooden legs of table in my hand. I had picked it up with the letter. I sit it in the corner and back away almost not seeing it, like I'm scared of it. It just sits there, a wooden pole. I walk back up to it and look at it closer. Well damn, Sal. You weren't kidding. But at least the edges are straight. Right?**

 **I sigh and see my little spider friend is inspecting it. I let out a dry chuckle. You approve? I ask it softly. I still have to name you son of a bitch.**

 **What would Sal name you? He'd name you something weird like Xavier or Jehovah. Well. Okay, um…**

 **Dot? You have a little dot on your back. Tomato? I never liked tomatoes. Ezra? I like that name. But I don't know if it fits you.**

 **The light fades. I guess I'll have to go to bed soon. I sit on the bed and fall over soundly. God, why am I so exhausted? Sal? Smiley? I hope you two are alright. Um, Sal? Thanks for the table leg. Smilely? God, I hope you send me a letter soon. Who am I forgetting?**

 **A letter slides under the door.**

 **Charlotte…**

 _It's a nice evening, isn't it? I hope you have a nice sleep. –Charlotte_

 **Tears are falling again. Goodnight Charlotte. Goodnight spider buddy. Goodnight Sal and Mr. Smiley. Is it too much to ask for pleasant dreams for you all tonight?**

* * *

A/N-What should the bugs name be? I'm stuck.


End file.
